A car sitting in a garage makes 0 horsepower.

Because I’d take my dog with me everywhere if I could.

I’m a huge sports fan, one of my kids is not.

A grown man attacks a 13 year old boy and cops are like “Well I don’t see a crime here.”

Honestly, I don’t think you really needed the “greedy” in the title. It’s like saying “feline cat” or “racist Trump-supporter”. Redundant.

Mustang is crowned the best-selling sports car in the United States

That must have required a lot of overnight parts from Japan.

“People who fucked themselves realise they got fucked: Like to fuck, dislike being fucked.”

We apologise for the fault in this comment.  Those responsible have been sacked.

I am Reefguy007 from Reddit, one of the two creators. I just wanted to say thank you Mike for sharing our creation on Kotaku, it means A LOT!

What’s the difference between H20i and a hardware store?

(...) his hands are supposed to be signaling the number 69

I plan to incorporate Everything Works Like It Smells into my regular lexicon.

You, sir, are obviously welcome to remain on my lawn at your leisure.

Q: how do you fit a C130 into a parking lot?

I’m forced to assume your Mom was in National Lampoon’s Vacation.

I think these women are saying they did Nazi this coming.