I literally can't fuck a guy who uses the wrong 'your.' Not unlike a legitimate rape, my body just has a way of shutting the whole thing down.

Maybe he was trying to take a dick pic and took a screenshot instead, and then thought "meh, this is basically the same thing."

He did own it, though, and even apologized in what seems an entirely appropriate and honest way. I'm not sure I think he deserves to be thrown up online for all to mock and take as emblematic of some new trend in bad behavior. He made a bad, assholish mistake, admitted as much, and apologized without so much as asking…

It's nice of these guys to give the women around them such a clear and undeniable red flag. Most people have to wait weeks or even months to figure out that a guy is a piece of shit, they're really saving us all a lot of time here.

I dated an actor guy who's previous girlfriend left him for Patrick Stewart. 40 year age difference. We weren't allowed to watch Patrick's films - which was surprisingly limiting - because it still bothered him so much. Any time he'd mention it, in terms of his fears of being cheated on, I would have to put on my best…

I have a theory that people who eat "just for fuel"/ "don't really like to eat" have something wrong with them, like people who are tone deaf. It's easy to not eat if food doesn't give you pleasure, just like it's easy not to dance if music sounds like a bunch of noise. The difference is nobody thinks you're a better…

You are garbage.

It's followed by the question, "Wimmenz, amirite? (Circle yes or no)"

Yay!!! That's what I'm talking about.

Look on the bright side; Statistically, neither can anybody else.

Excuse me while I Google EVERY picture posted of him.

WHEN DOES YE OLDE BONING BEGIN.

I have the strangest boner.

I need better co-workers, clearly.

My best friend is a 5'3" tiny woman, and she runs all the time. Once she was alone and a dude on his bike smacked her ass. So she shoved him off his bike and yelled, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WEARING A HELMET, ASSHOLE!!!" and then ran off.

My mom INSISTS that Jennifer was not a popular name when she picked it for me in the mid 70's. Right mom, uh huh. Have another glass of white zin.

Maybe her parents were fans of "The Name Game" and also has a brother named Bo Bamber.

I'm sure it wasn't corruption corruption, cos his body has a way of shutting that thing down.

"The McDonnells were first accused of wrongdoing when they fired a chef who they claimed had been stealing food from them. Unfortunately for them (and fortunately for Virginia), the chef had documents proving that Williams had paid for the McDonnells' daughter's wedding."

I like to think Elaine Stritch answered the knock at the Pearly Gates and that they're both sitting having vodka on the rocks, talking shit about everyone.