This reminds me, so I’ll remind you all.

“free speech isn't free" I feel like is something he'd say. In this case it's literal. They aren't taking away his right to speak freely, they're just making him pay actual money if he does so. There's almost certainly an amount of money he can pay For to get out of the non compete. There nearly always is. But if he…

That’s only 6% of the number of cars Tesla intends to sell. So when you're seeing 15 Teslas for every Volvo, seems like that would still be pretty niche. 

In DC, first thing you need to know it’s where you’re going to park. If you’re in DC/NoVa and street parking, you want something you don’t mind getting dinged up, and you ESPECIALLY don’t want a convertible. It will be cut open first night on the street. But getting something with some scratches already on it can save…

Also, fuck squirrels.

“We wish the shooter have called us first.” (so WE could have killed her)

Look at you fancy pants with multiple games. Taking out family and social life time, 12 hours a week is nearly impossible, and multiple games I haven’t had time for in years. I’ve gone the other route, and when a free ps+ game is good, I figure on it and can probably get through it in less than 2 months. Except when…

Without the past, the guy is a trust fund baby married to a failed actress. No one is watching a Netflix show from someone like that. He NEEDS the media. And for a guy whose life is now only what the media can provide, he'd be smart to stop trying to bite the hand. Unfortunately, there's probably always a sympathetic…

I disagree. A fat Jewish lesbian is a weird one to hold water for Nazis. Jewish was the worst trying you could be, homosexual a close second, and fat... Well, depends how high up the other ladders you were, how much a pass you could get. 

Is this a broken clock scenario? At 16, she SHOULD BE unfuckable. If the role needed someone fuckable, she should have lost it. So for once, saying she was unfuckable was the right call, as all 16 year old girls should be for non-age-appropriate men.

Eh, I’m married and have a few kids. Getting laid is free and on the schedule a couple times a week.

At $20k, they’re probably losing money, if that makes it easier for you. Wouldn’t for me, but if you want one bad enough, we could all come together to get you over that last hump.

Not sure where you live, but $280 isn’t enough for a date good enough to get you laid in a good number of cities. You think dinner a the melting pot and a first run movie gets you laid in 2023? Well, that’s what you get for $280 in Denver. You sure as shit aren't getting out of a nice steakhouse for that if you intend…

As long as the uneducated masses get their JORBS, the politicians don't care who does them. 

He’s just offering the magic dick over the phone to random women? That's messed up. That dick should be reserved for supermodels and celebrities. 

I hate to say "that's probably why she's the assistant", but if she believes that, she probably has some other weird ones. That being said, that's probably why she's the assistant. 

I think if she can get all Republicans to agree that women who have abortions and doctors that perform abortions shouldn’t be jailed, executed, or fined by the government, then we Democrats will agree that post-birth abortions should be banned. I think that’s a totally fair starting point.

There must have been some behind the scenes drama we don't know about yet. Like "now that you're in Congress, I'm going to sue the fuck out of you if you don't stop this."

Dodgebros paying Joe Biden extra money in addition to what they paid Joe Biden when he pressed the “high gas prices” button. Hilarious.

Tell them you'll double it to remove the LoJack. You don't want them having access to your car.