Pooping time is for reading, not listening. Nobody’s out there grabbing their headphones and firing up Pandora on their way to take a dump.

So a podcast is replacing the printed Funbag? When did Simmons take over as Deadspin editor?

Get some headphones, shitlord

Jeez, ESPN, we know he’s not that good, but it’s just rude to refer to Austin Rives as equipment staff.

As I patriots fan, we lost because our offensive line got manhandled. I don’t have a problem with any of his decisions. Hopefully we’ll be better next year.

Hey guys, good job. You did exhaustive research trying to prove this guy to be a liar, but came up short. Alas, you ran with the pointless story anyway.

That’s not a travel. It’s a pretty basic step back that you see at every level of basketball.

I unfortunately sat through this game where the teams shot a collective 22% and Dick Stockton improperly named every player.

That was his index finger.