I am not mature enough to have a Wegman’s in my area. I’d end up in a closet covered in frosting and hummus with no recollection of my day’s activities.

That is one fuck of a day. But you got through it and you're here with us! Plus wine.

GOD BLESS LOOPHOLES.

How much Moët would it take to wash the grime out of my mouth? Perhaps this is negotiable. Maybe hustle for two years, then file for divorce and begin therapy.

The shame, though... don't think I could live with that.

It has made my weekend. Straight facts, no chaser and very refreshing.

We don't want it enough. We're also less qualified and less emotionally stable. Now I don't feel so bitter and bitchy about being passed over for that promotion. I'm going to go get my nails done.

I still think it's for sexting.

I heard someone say “lady doctor” a few months ago and nearly had a coronary.

He doesn't have to think about it, so mentions of victimization seem exaggerated.

I’m probably the only one who’s not on board with this girl. Droning on and on about the fucking 10 calories he consumed was tiresome. I used to be, as my husband calls it, “food possessive,” but I don't consider my husband a mortal enemy when it comes to food. Sure, I get bummed when he finishes all the gummi bears,…

“... not just the ones that concern people that look like you” smells a lot like an attempt to wedge reverse racism into this.

STOP SHARIA LAW!!... Oh. Sorry. Nevermind.

Yup. If the physician does not perform abortions will refer you to a member of the practice who does or you'll get that schpeel. Being lucky enough to have someone actually give you resources is a boon.

YES!! That’s how they convince themselves that sexism doesn’t exist and also how they feel free to speak on women’s issues since it’s just an intellectual pursuit and he couldn’t possibly be playing into a woman’s oppression.

I saw part of Valhalla Rising and he would get my Pazollini Prize for that. Gratuity for gratuity sake.

Are you a college professor?

Hold on, let me critique your critique.

I can confirm this. I am a woman and have this exact fantasy.

Absolutely. And those who don’t want to disclose it for “security reasons” won't be having my children over there either.