Didn’t this guy bite a prostitute?

Do you read Deadspin regularly? There’s an article about CTE every other day.

I have a picture of you in my mind, and it involves a trucker hat.

Is he tipping his pitches? His fastball still looks good, to my incredibly untrained eye.

Tongs.

When I close my eyes and picture the type of person who works in an artisanal bakery, he is exactly what I see.

What’s most incredible about this to me is that people like David Brooks, George Will, P. J. O’Rourke, etc... are still employed by these (once) prestigious publications. Does anyone honestly take what they write seriously anymore? I need the opinion of some pissed off, upper class white guy like I need a hot sauce…

Dr. Richard Ellenbogen looks like he sniffs a lot of glue.

A truly useful application of this would be to assess fees to companies with whom you do business for hold times, missed appointments, defective equipment, etc...

How dare that motherfucker act like he’s incredibly good at his job. What an asshole. Tell me, friend, do you at least think that he posed for GQ the right way (TM)?

Seriously. This kid is awesome.

I disagree:

Connect 4 and now Scrabble? That’s really great and all, but the White Sox did turn their second triple play of the season last night. Damn.

As a fan of this godforsaken shitshow of a team: I’m fucking done.

Fuck that.

Unsolicited Ugly Wang: New band name. I call it.

David Brock? Is that you?

Right, I should have made that more clear:

Has anyone ever been into someone, then received their dick pick and had a change of heart?

Curt Schilling? Is that you?