Hell, I already do that and I haven’t even won an Oscar (yet).

My dad got the Order of Canada and ever since i’ve been adding “CM” to his name every time i introduce him. Not even he knows what it means.

Demoralizing grind? I wonder how people will react to vanilla WoW?

Yeah, but when will it start telling you to “Turn left at the corner where the Circuit City used to be”? That’s how half my mom’s directions go. You need to know the history of the entire neighborhood to get anywhere.

Comment/handle synergy apex has been reached.

Anything that invokes Jurassic Bark is at once beautiful and terrible.

i’ve liked her since she appeared in that bruce springsteen video, back when she had to text on a landline:

Well, SOMEONE’S an Early Edition fan....

Hell, Chris Evans elicits some very mixed feelings as Captain America, and I’m a heterosexual man.

Headline should read, “Local Branch of Global Pedophile Ring Expels Member for Loving Marital Relationship With Adult.”

“This is a White House that stands with women”

And no one will find the money ever because white chocolate is gross

My unlocked Moto X Pure just updated to Nougat last week.

It’s been a long year.

I like all of the Chrises, but Chris Evans—talented, sexy, outspoken, unabashedly liberal, dog-loving Chris Evans—is the best Chris.

It’s an awkward design choice made by devs who intended it to be utilized in future sequels that will never get made.

The best thing about the “Papyrus” trailer: they used comic sans for the logo.

Like they are from Cranston, RI. Horrible on the ears. Paaaaasta.

Why is this shit always in comic sans?

Really? You had Mario’s nipples all ready to go and you chose this as the theme?