Bleh, forgot the name of the game.

You're not the first! I've de-sadified my avatar to avoid causing too much depression. The name stands!

You've been defeated by Deep Vein Thrombosis! High score!

It works with spiders too.

Missile Command has all the fireworks I need!

All my Pokémon love me unconditionally or they get the hose. If they're really bad they go into the last box in the computer. The one filled with hungry Rattatas I taught only to Bite and enjoy it.

Box office gold!

I'm on a similar diet where I only eat meat I can afford.

Great, now where will I get my super salmon powers from? My dreams of swimming upstream are dashed again!

You tell him Jennifer Garner! He can only hang out with uggos like Matt Damon lest he succumb to the love that dare not speak its name. You thought it was the other way around? Please, Jen (I call her Jen) is in total control of that relationship. Ben is a born sidekick.

I have a theory that cat Heaven is just human Hell.

Maybe women DGAF about hair color or eye color or chests? Are we beyond eye color? Is Paul Newman the only one who cut through on account of having the one good pair of eyes?

Clearly they graduated from The Bugs Bunny School of Pronouncing Moron.

If I were an optimist I would think that hiding who they are (bigots) because of societal pressures would help them relate and empathize with the people they hate. But I'm not an optimist so...

It's a glass closet, to be sure.

"I hate gays but I won't stand in the way if you want to get married. Vote for me!"

The polenta guy either didn't like cornmeal or, more likely to me, he was really hankering for some placenta.

Yes! If it's not flat, it's not a pancake. Now it's just a tube-shaped muffin on stick.

Those wizards that came from the inner core of the moon!