I say you shoot the text once you pull in your parking space, do your lap around the store, and check your phone before you check out. If there’s no response, you’re free to go and say “too late” if the reply comes after without guilt.

Feral man had this in his inbox today. Top item - I laughed like a crazy person when I saw it. Hopefully it will at least make you giggle

Buck Lives Matter

So this is where the buck stops.

So there was a cross dressing component during my frat’s Hell Week bullshit. Keep in mind that, at this point in my life, I was a medium douchey, half-libertarian lax bro from a rich suburb (and also keep in mind this was circa 94) so I went into the whole ordeal with the attitude that “This will be a little…

You know, because Hillary totally didn’t have a multi-pronged and detailed jobs and infrastructure program as a central part of her platform or anything

(Bernie. Bernie took Michigan)

The answer is incredibly simple, we pass a series of laws clearly delineating conflicts of interest and mandating financial transparency to assume the office.

Crossfitter identified!

Crippling depression and existential dread! 10 years running!

14 hours from NYC

Throwing on the one yard line instead of running it for starters

I have an 8 year old that I routinely lock out of the router so she can’t watch shit-ass YouTube videos on her laptop.

“I can’t get to the Internet!”
“Yeah, I locked you out for being a dick.”
“Dad-DEEEE!”
“Eat shit, pumpkin. This is a House of Laws.”

I can’t tell if this is real or fake. That says something, but I’m not sure what, exactly. Lemme go ask a cab driver real quick.

Must be something in the water.

Did someone say roughing the passer?

Bernie Sanders has been polling in recent months as literally the most popular politician in the United States. Clinton diehards are going to blame people who would have voted for him, but voted for Stein, Johnson, or Trump. Imagine how many votes that must be, particularly in the midwest, that would have gone to…

In the bottle of Tabasco sauce, where they belong.

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."