Watching this makes me want to give side eye to my own eyeballs in a hateful cyclical death embrace.

"Do people go to Starbucks these days?"

No words. Take it away, Lucille.

Nice try, Blake.

Every single piece of writing on the site is even more comically horrible than I had imagined. Every paragraph contains every marker of a bad-writer-trying-to-sound-artsy-and-irreverent — every dumb turn of phrase ("Steve, that is") and every stupid platitude (trite imagery intended to convey that I'm secretly a…

Her favourite condiment is mayonnaise. I can't