Pockets in Arizona are either calling it “cocola” or “lemonade,” and I swear to God this (and everything else in Arizona) has to be the result of fallout from 1940’s nuclear tests.

It’s fucking Southerners, and it is the goddamn worst. “Pop” is annoyingly twee, but on balance, I’d much rather deal with that than fucking “Coke.” Seriously, if you are reading this and you call all soda “Coke,” you are terrible and you should feel bad about the fact that you are terrible. Never, ever trust a person…

Yeah, it’s a Southern thing.

You know what? I love the balls on Cara Sloane to tell a BCO story about her own fuck-up. Just about every one of these is told from the waiter’s point of view, so I am always curious as to how customers would tell one of these (and what the exact hell was goin on in their cerebellums)...

ITS ABOUT ETHICS IN RESTURERENT JOURNALISM

Let me just get the Pinkham’s Law out of the way, because I don’t see any yet and I’m SURE it’ll happen-

ARGLE BARGLE BUT RESTAURANT MANAGERS WORK HARD TOO AND NEVER GET TIPS DID YOU KNOW RESTARANT MONAGERS CARE ONLY ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE RESTESRAUNT AND ARE SELFLESS ANGELS TO WORK AS HARD AS THEY DO FOR THE…

I think we need to talk about all the foreign actors playing Americans on “The Walking Dead” and “Fear the Walking Dead.” It’s outrageous.

Of course he’s a Labrador. Of course.

She’s bad, but she isn’t the worst guest ever, that honor(?) goes to my cousin’s estranged father who insisted on hitting on 17 year old me and then decided that the only reason I wasn’t reciprocating was because I was obviously dating the guy next to me, my other cousin, his estranged ex step son, who he didn't…

That’s how you do it, though?

It is so friggin’ hard to not pack sugar crap in a kids lunch.

this has nothing to do with her weight. she’s a stupid hateful bigot and grifter.

On her shoulder or the shoulder of the road?

because the muslin is trying to destoy hour contry.

That’s amazing and very illuminating.

If you need to leave a boring business meeting, shit your pants. #lifehack

Is this just mantasy?

Is this the real life?