Freedom is not having to pretend to care about things you don’t care about (aka, corporate America)

There should be statues of him everywhere, with the plaque on it saying “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.”

It has to be so freeing, to give so few fucks like he does. I mean, I don’t give a lot of fucks, but the amount he gives has to be approaching if not actually zero. If you could measure the amount of fucks Marshawn gives in atomic movement, it would be the lowest temperature ever recorded in the universe.

I mean,

This all makes perfect sense.

Parity sucks. The 80s and 90s were full of great teams and then the greedy owners sold fans on the mythical “small market”. (There is no such thing as a small market team.) They got the fans to angrily hate teams that payed players what they were worth, by lying about what they could afford to spend in order to…

Only difference is that Jordan usually follows that by muttering to himself “I can still take him, though”

I’ve heard nice things about Earth-69

It exists because in a truly infinite multiverse, everything that *can* exist, *must* exist at some point in time.

Contemporary sociologists trace the origin of the phrase “alternate facts” back to the 2015, the year that the Super Bowl champion Carolina Panthers became the first team in NFL history to go undefeated.

Ben Stein: Ok class let’s reveal who we voted for. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

If you can keep your head when all about you, Mr Musk

Not nearly hobbity enough to pass for Kim K.

Never in your life have you ever deliberately taken the hard path when an easy path is clearly visible.

Easy there Skip.

A good example of not rushing to judgement would be refraining from shooting another person in a fit of road rage.

The Democrats are not cohesive enough for this sort of approach.

The media is absolutely biased toward the cult of fairness. They’re so afraid of being called “the liberal media” that they purposely avoid the hard truths in favor of equivocation. And like the rural poor who continue to vote against their own interests and can’t understand why their shit stays broken, their efforts…