What's a girl to do when she works in the legal industry but not as a lawyer? I can't afford the high-priced clothing and I'm expected to dress like the lawyers many days. I'm also a size that certain retailers have felt the need to stop carrying in store so I can't find many places that do carry my size in store so I…

@Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: I'm a victim's advocate and anytime I see a domestic assault 3rd come across my desk, I play that same game. This week it was husband. 3 of them in one day. It always picks up in time for the holidays.

When my dog pees on the carpet, she has more shame than Amy has.

@sayah: It doesn't have that line but there is a line about running that made me go into hysterics and the ending is perfect. I died laughing while everyone else starting going "WHAT!? "NOOOO!!!!!" "OMG!" "BOOOOO!!!!"

@lafleur: At one point I actually had to ask aloud whether I was supposed to be turned on by Edward or if he needed a laxative to help with his constipated look. Oh, the glares.

I'm so glad they mention horribly awkward scenes and slow-mo. Now I know it will be hilarious and the best comedy of the year. I only hope my friend doesn't break my rib when she elbows me to stop laughing hysterically. Hint: Twilight + appletinis is the perfect Friday cocktail.

Hmmm...what does all this mean for Peggy and Duck? #openthread

I expected it to be Duck, not Don. #openthread

Sally is done with these people. #openthread

I'm guessing Jon actually just knows Kate's passwords and she never bothered to change them. First thing in a divorce people, change all the passwords! #lindsaylohan

WebMD got my cancer diagnosis and my Raynaud's right, but it also has repeatedly suggested I have spinal cord issues when I actually have neuropathy from chemo. But in all the cases, I only used webmd in between the time I called the doctor and when I saw the doctor. So when my doctor said "You have cancer" I…

My dog hates dressing up but loves it when I wrap her up like a mummy in blankets.

I managed to see part of this go down yesterday. I am looking forward to following it as it goes through my department.

@foodporncess: I had the same issues post-chemo/Prednisone. I tried dieting and exercising to the point I was in classes for 5 hours and then working out 5 hours and barely eating and after weeks of that, I realized how disordered I was becoming. I realized I didn't survive cancer to let something else control me and…

@LooseBaggyMonster: I think each of my first-world problems now needs a Lifetime movie title to go with them. "Out of pizza rolls: One Woman's Plight" is the theme of my lunch.

I know I survived cancer and all but sadly I won't be a survivor until I rid myself of cankles. Thankfully, Ms. Braganza has brought cankle awareness to the forefront where it belongs and now all women can be cankle-free! I only hope I caught it early enough to fully recover.

My favorite college class was Lit for Young Adults. It exposed me to so many books outside my normal Sweet Valley/Holocaust/memoir genres I read during those years.

@millelilly: The pregnant hamster was from VC Andrews' Heaven. The adoptive mom is the killer but both parents are abusive in their own way. I've only read that book 30 times and I had to think for a solid minute to figure out which book that was. I feel embarrassed, both that I knew it and that it took so long to…

I was diagnosed with cancer at 19 and given the option the freeze eggs or to mate them with some sperm and freeze them. Not even considering cost, it was the first time I had to sit down and decide how I really felt about it all. It was a big burden to put on my young shoulders. In the end I decided no way. I wasn't…

After like 5 years of these, I can't handle another year of wandering St. Louis and realizing our city has nothing more to offer.