I'm sort of a bad feminist - I still outsource spider relocation.

Now we will never know if she was truly ready.

One thing this incident shows is the appalling trend of teachers accused of abuse being shuttled from one school to the next. The district's reaction was not to fire him, but to move him on to a different school. Why? Maybe they believed it was an isolated incident, but there is also the fact that firing him…

I totally agree about nobody laying a hand on my kids, 100%. But I think swimming absolutely should be taught in schools. Unlike touch football, or soccer, or whatever bullshit normally goes on in a PE class, knowing how to swim saves lives. I grew up in a town on the ocean + bay + river, and swimming was taught in…

Eh, I wouldn't rush for the #notallPEteachers, because honestly, almost every PE teacher I have ever met in my life was a fucking dick. I had ONE incredible one that I adored, even though I hated PE, and all the other ones were either disgusting, giving molester vibes or were physically abuse. I don't know what it is…

The idea that a lot of people think women should be allowed to attend school, choose their own spouse, and have careers seems to scare them all on its own. Factor in that some people in this country are non-Christian, or gay, choose to not have children, engage in pre-marital sex, and -! It's a wonder these people…

America's favorite family?

Rabid homosexual activists

Listen, I can't stand the Duggars as much as the next person, but is anyone else bothered by the fact that they've been preaching backwards women-should-be-barefoot-and-pregnant bullshit for years, but nobody thinks they should get cancelled until they delete some pics from their Facebook?

He knows you can't eat a trophy.

If you were a member of the Dale family, we'd have demanded to see it over Christmas dinner, or asked for a thorough description of the color and consistency of its contents.

I've never wanted therapy so bad in my entire life.

Didn't they already make a Christian S&M movie called The Passion of the Christ?

Clearly, we're picking a fight with Fifty Shades. We're not only picking a fight, we're picking a fight with the schoolground bully, likely to get our nose busted in two.

Oh jeez. Is 50 Shades even a romance? I haven't read it but my understanding was that it's a Stockholm Syndrome story.

Apparently the creator of our unfathomably vast cosmos is deeply obsessed with what we do with our genitals, and whether we say the right magic words beforehand. He allegedly created an entire realm of torture for people he doesn't like.

Eh, all part of the Christian right's usual martyrdom complex, like the "war on Christmas" and their complaints that they are being deprived of their "right" to discriminate against gay people. Instead of going to see 50 Shades, go to an LGBT film festival or take part in a celebration of one of the non-Christian…

More like a cynical attempt to cash in on the Christian film market that has proved quite lucrative despite such films being poorly received by critics. I doubt the creators earnestly care about 50 Shades of Grey, they merely understand there's a counter-market to profit from by making a cheap excuse of a movie. Which…

I definitely wouldn't want to date someone who was rude to my cat. Actually, it depends on what is happening that is considered rude. Not wanting to pet my cat constantly? That's fine because I don't want to do that either. Are they telling my cat that her breath stinks and that her fur isn't pretty? RUDE.

"Your swearing is very unladylike?" Motherfucker. I once spent about 13 months co-located with a bunch of Army officers for my job. That was thirteen years ago, and I still to this day use the eff word like a comma. My husband does not care but prefers I tone it down around the kids, lest our son confront a daycare…