I'm as broke as a damn joke and I feel like crap because my Mom was awesome all of my life. Working hard and bending over backward to make sure that I was not only clean and well fed but happy too. I cannot afford to get her anything so I am gonna clean up her place and make her a feast tomorrow. I know that is a good…

You can't just send these kids on their way with an afternoon detention. What if a year from now she goes full "Tsarnaev" on everyone? What then?! And ALL the warning signs were there: the exceptional school record, the science focus; the "bad choices"; the exploding soda bottle. How do you explain these away then,…

Also, Prince Harry left this note at Arlington National Cemetery, which was sweet.

Tell me more about masculinity, Purple Poopy Pants.

I consider this an individual leg, maxi-length, pencil skirt.

Oh, hell no. Does she know how much shit is in a Lean Cuisine? Those things are frozen pucks of pure evil that taste like old shoes and self-loathing. At least with Chipotle you're getting something that is only a couple of steps from being an actual animal, unlike a Lean Cuisine, which was delivered to the store on…

But... Republicans becoming self-aware is how Skynet started.

Just close your eyes and remember that we re-elected Obama by a wide margin, despite some desperate attempts by the right during the election season. We're going forward, not backwards, I promise - stuff like this is just the swelling before the zit gets popped.

Even if Jesus bestowed the power of the trigger finger on fetuses and somehow got a gun into the uterus (he's Jesus, he can do that), firing the gun would clearly kill the life support for the fetus and thus the fetus.

There needs to be a new word for folks like this. Conservative used to mean a politician who errs on the side of caution, slow and steady the course ahead, let's tend toward tradition, all things being carefully considered. It was a point of view that maybe I didn't always share, but I could at least understand. Now…