My wife and I went into a Waffle House once and they were cleaning the hoods over the grilles. OMFG, why did we not just turn around a leave?? Sure, we could still get a waffle, but it was not worth it. The horrors released by the degreasers they were spraying up into the hoods were nauseating. The lumpy, black ick…

My aunt had a recipe for mock potato salad made using Ritz crackers. I never understood why anyone would want to do that. Potatoes are cheap and plentiful compared to Ritz crackers!

How about not putting them in museums? Let’s crush the stone ones and melt down the metal ones.

Hi Michael,

For real. Quit touching it too!

When I was in grad school at Duke, my thesis advisor and a fellow graduate student used a box truck to drive a huge magnet from Duke’s nuclear lab to another lab in Canada. One thing they were sure of was that they were in trouble if they had a head-on collision: Physicists understand inertia all too well. I don’t…

Hi Michael - Long shot here, but were you in Greenville, SC recently? On Thursday, I was driving along Pleasantburg Dr. in Greenville when I saw a car with Alabama plates being driven by you or your evil twin. Not sure which.

Not sure is Benzes is the correct plural for Benz, but Benzs looks wrong too, lol.

Looking at their Twitter link:

Michael, I am from SC too, but I have never heard the insult “moon cricket”. I thought I had heard all the racist insults growing up in rural SC.

... aaaand ruined by terrible music.

Around here, bagging is basically one item per plastic bag (unless it is heavier than bread, in which you get two bags per item.) It drives me crazy and makes me wonder if they get paid more for using more bags. Yes, yes, I know I should bring my own recyclable bags, but they don’t do much better if I bring those. I…

Just tie a rope to it and pull it the fuck down, like the folks in Durham, NC.

Lacking the charm of Bill Clinton, the smooth-operator status of Barack Obama and the Hollywood pizazz of Ronald Reagan—who he would eventually beat in that 1976 general election

Can’t forget the Susan Smith episode in Union, SC: She claimed a “black man” carjacked her and drove off with her kids at a traffic light, when she had, in fact, killed them by rolling her car into a lake and drowning them.

“How do they know?”

Didn’t know pedal cars could go that fast.

 Scher, who is a cosmetic nurse at SkinTight MedSpa

So, still 6 foot tall hood for no reason, with giant, badly-aimed headlights that will blind me in front of it, right? Or will it be even bigger to compensate for the penis loss inflicted by being electric?

I do love those socks, Michael!