Cut it in half and squeeze it out urself like a man. You don’t have to buy it prepackaged. Whiney ass millennial.

“Jeb forward...Jeb backward...Jeb this way...Jeb that way...”

What are you talking about? Lebron played with Delonte West for 3 years! (I’m sorry, I had to do it)

Yep, if only he’d had players like Larry Bird who had good fathers, oh wait......Bird’s dad was a drunk who killed himself.

A hot take, Karl.

(Cums)

Meriweather was never one to turn down a cheap shot.

You’d think the Texans would have done better this season employing defensive players with the ability to phase in and out of the physical world like #55 and #56 there.

What he’s really good at is literally “getting lost” on the field, making it nearly impossible for the defenders to find him, let alone tackle him. A great example of this is that first clip from the Houston game above - notice as he runs through that big “G” on the field - it’s like, “Where’d he go?!!” He’s…

You think that’s awkward? You should have seen the rookie who asked Rex Ryan about footing the bill.

Meriweather: Mr. Belichick, the bartender was hoping he could get paid now.

If you’re gonna look for a permanent coach, you can’t do much better than the OC of a 4-8 team

‘Boca Raton Bowl’ sounds like something on the early bird menu at a reasonably priced family restaurant.

Floyd giving conflicting answers and having no recollection of anything that happened? No wonder Belichick was so quick to sign him!

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

In Cleveland they leave free tickets in a big pile outside the stadium and walk away. When they come back, there’s twice as many.

Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

You’re comparing raping someone to flipping the bird.

Absolutely! Plus, invariably, I somehow put 27 times more batter than necessary into it and make the world’s biggest fucking mess for the next asshole (usually my wife) to try to deal with.