“Research” now means “I googled something, scrolled by the results that looked like they could be from an actual scientific journal and went straight to the blogs that repeated my ignorant ideas in cursive on a pastel coloured background because memes > peer-reviewed science”

If you knowingly fuck a neo Nazi, you are a neo Nazi. Sorry babe. 

“like a nerd” = “by believing every conspiracy theory I stumbled across”

I research like a complete and total nerd.

Oh well.

“Bloody foreigners, coming to our country, taking our jobs, imposing their way of life on us. I won’t stand for it!”

There is a lack of Tetris 99 on this list and I am sad now okay thanks. 

I prefer grifter myself

position players will only be permitted to pitch in extra innings or if their team is leading or trailing by seven or more runs unless they have been previously designated by their team as a two-way player which can only be done if those players have pitched 20 innings or appeared in 20 games in which they made…

Baseball’s biggest problem right now--and I’m being serious--is that the people who run it do not appear to actually enjoy the game.

Jade is a perfectly normal name here in England! One of my loveliest bosses ever was called Jade. We did not work at a strip club.  

A rug really ties the room together

Jade’s a lovely name.

Please decorate the walls with the taxidermied heads of DC lobbyists, he said half-jokingly...

Nick Offerman rules. 

One of the few ways in which I am a real grown up is my bed. I bought a nice mattress and box spring, a very expensive mattress cover, and real bed frame with a headboard and footboard and everything. I still have a futon in my living room, my tv sits on metal desk from target, my coffee table was rescued when my…

No, it’s not. Olivia is the classic old lady name that became cool again, and not everyone named Jade is a stripper. <sensitive mom whose daughter’s middle name is Jade as an homage to her grandmother and has had to deflect those comments for 15 years>

jade is her influencer name - she shorted it form giullanaialainaana or whatever her dad’s name is. 

Call me old-fashioned, but I find the word ‘influencer’ to be unnecessary when we already had the word ‘shill’, which was a perfectly good word for the exact same thing.

Olivia used her Crew experience to get back from the yacht as soon as she heard of her moms arrest.