And yet she’ll be the one relaying anything from the new Ambassador to Daddy.

Rural Africa probably has better coverage than rural America.

She can go to straight to Hell.

I don’t know why but I love this. I keep coming back to it. Now put that shit in your helmet!

You mean I have the awesome power of the internet yet I can’t find that martian/halloween movie which I am holding in my hand as I speak?

Well he’s looking our for his clientele. I mean it would be rather unseemly for him to hand out just packets of pure sugar.

Red Hat is a -5% to racial tensions in your league. I mean it doesn’t sound lick much but in twenty years it’ll be -11.5% so hang onto him.

Um er uh, I think we went way past the point of no return...let’s keep going!! Take the kids to some themed-hanging, like Wyatt Earp and somewhere down there where it’s hot!!1

Yeah but it’s not like you’re dipping into your kids stash, right? I mean candy corn is death but I’d be way more annoyed if it was leftover Easter candy those cheap bastards!1/

That’s like finding a grenade in the snickers bar.

you are awesome!

We commence bombing until Sister Mary Clarence yields to our demands. It’s Nazi Germany after the fall people! Aretha wants to flood the tunnels which would just inconvenience 30,000 people but we’re not gonna let her!

“But our cookies are razor-blade free!!”

“See? she doesn’t respect gravity and gravity is forced to respect her which totally punches a simone-sized hole in that theory.”

A large wicker basket filled with pennies.

Nah, those were pixie stixs! A pure sugar injection to make sure Mom had your little brother to deal with while you snuck off and made trouble!

Seriously? I mean the entire point of the thing is just to create some God-forsaken monument to gummies and whipped cream!

Now imagine somebody that will literally LITERALLY faint at the sight of her own blood. You can invision/imagine/image/ixacturite my despair..

When she gets hit or trips up rings just go everywhere!

Imagine being six feet and then the helmet and the body armor...