#douche #checkyowhitefuckinprivilege #phephesaysyouradumbbitch #justspeakingthetruth

Pee sitting down? Pah. A real feminist wouldn’t allow him to have a penis at all.

I promise you that the Iraqi orphan would be better off in Iraq. Like being an orphan is bad enough, but to be adopted by this douchenozzle? hard pass.

i just wanna yell GO LIE DOWN at him at the same voice i use on my dog when she’s getting way too hype

Jonathan Franzen is so far up his own butthole he’s about to create a singularity

“I fucking hate youths. You know what we should do, adopt a youth!”

Ladies, we can sign a collective agreement to stop fucking this? Kathy, that includes you.

“I got taken advantage of” is generally not a viable defense to discharge child support obligations. Otherwise every dude would argue “she said she was on the pill!”

Why schadenfreude? That seems uncalled for.

This is the stuff Tyra’s dreams are made of.

Yeah, me confused. Boston is a huge comedy city. People from Boston: Amy Poehler, Conan O’Brian, Mindy Kaling, Mike Birbiglia, Pete Holmes, Steve Carell, Rachel Dratch, Jen Kirkman, Louis CK, Patrice O’Neal, Steven Wright, other people.

When did Boston piss in your cheerios? Also, Boston is a well-known comedy town where a lot of comedians got their start.

Nyle the deaf model this season is SO cute OMG. I start singing “Whatta Man” when he’s onscreen.

One of my very favorite group television watching experiences happened with ANTM. I was in college and like 25 of us were watching on the common TV. It was an episode where there were two girls left and we were on pins and needles to find out which would be sent home (we were like super into that, top chef, and greys…

BEST

I was at the reunion panel (had to stand in line in the hot Texas sun for almost 3 hours for the privilege) and the weird thing was that there was not one mention of Melissa or Sookie.