I was on my good behavior before. To hell with that. I’m going to careen around here like a coked up toddler.

I expect I’ll join you soon if I make another comment about Bobby Finger’s terrible writing. He is a terrible writer.

Wow. I got booted to the greys? Are you kidding me? Okay guys, don’t ever jokingly call Jezebel a “Kardashian site” instead of a “Rihanna site” because these writers take that shit seriously.

When planning your shade, try to follow that old fashion tip of taking off one accessory before you leave the house. It’ll keep your message crisp. Solid effort, nonetheless.

Diana Ross was born and raised in the projects in Detroit. Probably where shade was invented after all those women moved there from the Deep South. Where everyone is taught early on how to politely but firmly put people in their place, and remind them if they get out of line.

The idea that Trump could be capable of shade is preposterous. He doesn’t even comprehend basic things like humor or irony or nuance. Or humility. He’s just a gold plated derp.

Some of these are reads but some are still subtle enough.. Just remember: Mariah Carey has had 17 songs go #1 on the Billboard Music charts. She likes reminding everyone.

“@DianaRoss joins Twitter, opts out of following daughter-in-law Ashlee Simpson”

Chudney Ross??? now that is some shade...naming your kid Chudney

It’s that glorious ‘White Male Privilege’ brand of confidence. Bless him.

I am officially the dumbest fuck on the planet, I had NO IDEA that Tracee Ellis Ross was Diana Ross’s daughter. Mind blown.

No baby, real Shade just makes the room dim.

Tracee Ellis Ross is Diana Ross’s daughter??? Jesus Mother of Dragons am I out of the loop. I mean, now that I know, OF COURSE TER would have a mother of that caliber. Holy cheekbones and general inhuman gorgeousness!

Counterpoint: Donald Trump is actually a master of shading himself. Every statement he makes seems to obliquely and objectively insult himself yet he never realizes it.

Kara, this column is on fucking POINT today. So good. And thank you for refusing to even address the Jessica Lange/Caitlyn Jenner faux controversy. Everybody was crying shade in the comments.

The fact that people in the comments, after all Kara’s instruction, are debating whether Caitlyn’s name choice was shade means that it was really epic shade.

I doubt she gets access to the closet or hair touching privileges. Like an NBA twelfth man she is probably just happy to be allowed in the building.

The Diana Ross one is piercing. Love it.

That is what you aspire to be. You are a Kardashian site. You’ll need at least twice as much weed and attitude to be Rihanna site.

“We spoke to Jezebel, a popular Kardashian news site, on Twitter today...”