I agree with your “just lay down” suggestion, but I will say, 2.5 years is enough time that you’ve reached the best part of having tiny humans around, which is ordering them to pick shit up off the floor for you.

There was absolutely no reason to arrest this person on the spot, period. Full stop. No exceptions.

If an investigation determines that the person was driving under the influence or recklessly or otherwise committing any offense whatsoever, they can always arrest him later. There was no urgency here. No offense.…

I do hope as he’s being taken into federal custody, one of the arresting officers asks him if he’s heard of small claims court.

This is...quite funny though.

Unfortunate story pairing here...

Oof. His final daily recap video, which begins with him saying he...almost made it through the entire week.

RIP.

Wells Fargo is worth a reported $207 trillion. 

Minor typo here... Billion.

Dang. That says it all, poor guy. Not remotely his fault, but anyone decent would still feel terrible about it.

Don’t get me wrong; I despise Donald Trump. Like, I hope this happens in the course of his imminent natural fucking demise. 

But this is a pretty obnoxious thing to say about him. And it applies just as readily to literally any old person, including any that you may or may not like. 

Since we’re fact-checking jokes...
Did it start that way? First I heard of this concept was the white paper he released, but he does talk a lot of shit on Twitter. 

So, I’ll admit my ignorance here - as well as my inability to reliably detect sarcasm on Musk-threads.

May I ask - is this true? Does pavement in underground tunnels wear at a slower rate than above ground? Is this true (except with regard to overweight vehicles) for multilane ones open to public vehicles as well?

How dare you! The idea was always for a DriveyTube.

Michelle Ruiz at Bon Appétit spoke to experts and confirmed that mid-morning hunger pangs are in fact normal, and that the lunch police will not come and arrest you if you dig in before noon.

Thanks. Saved me a read. Hopefully the person being paid to do this does it better next time. 

It goes beyond entitlement for me. This request is...fucking absurd on its face. There is no logical reason why any studio would agree to it, and it would be a practical impossibility. It’s an inane tantrum even before I call it entitled.

The scene with Mr. Mime and the gas can...deeply amused me.

And definitely went over my kid’s head.

It’s also totally random which champions have winning personalities. Ken Jennings, Buzzy Cohen, Colby Burnett, and Austin Rogers, I find pretty entertaining.

Holzhauer, I initially found kinda off-putting, but now he seems more like a Karl Pilkington sort. Just a slightly odd duck, which I now find slightly endearing.

…

I don’t know why I watched the video, but she clearly said “f’d” rather than “fucked”. And the comedian bleeped it. Because he’s so funny. 

I mean...

Never seen a leaked surveillance video eh?

*squint; glare*

You ever see a photocopy of a cell phone?

Yeah, read Sex Object by Jessica Valenti. This is...not an uncommon experience for women, particularly on the NYC subway.