“C’mon Real Madrid suck” would be a stronger argument if they hadn’t beaten Barcelona at the Camp Nou literally four days ago.

Allow me to Deadspinify these rankings:

With a week of practice with a pitching coach, what kind of velocity could your average 25-year-old man reach?

Mouthing “bang” while looking unimpressed is also how my son was conceived

A mop and a choice is also how my son was conceived.

Pretty good, but this demonstrates that he’s still got lots of work to do, since 60% of those guys aren’t in the HoF.

No he couldn’t, first off because he hasn’t completed the required ten years in the majors.

As long as you don’t wear pants, you’ll be fine.

Because taxes are too high and it hurts my ladyfreedoms.

Of all the possible Gawker-media swaps, which proposed was the most awkward? Jezebel taking over Jalopnik (ya know, cuz ladies can’t drive amirite fellas?) Kotaku taking over Deadspin (because NEEEEEERDDDSS!)?

Can we look forward to more articles about urban legends that “aren’t about me?” That’s what I’m here for.

Touchscreen only controls? Why Why Why! And not even steering wheel controls?

It looks good, but now drivers will have to look over every time they want to adjust the climate controls. Those automated safety features better work, because non-physical controls are a step backwards for driver safety.

Gus Johnson is 9834 places too high.

“Putting the ball on frame from 12 yards away should be a sure thing for these guys, especially Cristiano.”

Please change headline to:

It’s neither of these. Penalties are converted at a rate between 70 and 85%, depending on the situation (71% at the world cup, 84% at the Euro).

This version is just a port of the Lynx edition though, right?

Sealed? He won the match, had he missed it would have sealed the draw.

Ain’t no shame in your game.

Patrick, I love you on the piracy beat, I think you bring an industry perspecitve without the industry line. But I’d like to see you address this research: