Jared both started and ended his career by trying to get into smaller pants.

Yup, a delightful holiday greeting sounded like “fuck you” coming out of some people’s mouths last year. The idiot orange poisons everything.

I’m under 40 and I’m a two-spacer till I die.

“I’m praying for you” = “fuck you” to put it succinctly.

using online ordering to request a pizza with no toppings except beef...and only on the left.

I used to lurk the incel forum on reddit before they banned it. Why they haven’t yet banned its replacement, braincels, is beyond me but reddit gonna reddit.

That’s how my handwriting looks when I try to write with my off hand.

Journalistic state abbreviations aren’t the same as the post office abbreviations.

And here I thought that whole “God Emperor Trump” thing was just snark to “trigger the libs”...

I’ve also heard SAGA which is Sexuality And Gender Acceptance.

SATANIC TEMPLE, ASSEMBLE!

Called it. He won’t be the center of attention so why bother going?

Placing my bets now that Agent Orange will not make an appearance at her funeral. He’ll send Melania. He can’t stand to not be the center of attention!

nononono u guise, we “conquered” the Native Americans so this land is *ours* now, fair and square. /s

I’m another egg hater. I did some volunteer work in a small town in Mexico some years back. The only restaurant in town had 6 egg options for breakfast. The only non-egg option was cornflakes...which took longer than cooking eggs...because the waitress had to walk down to the corner store to buy a banana to put on top.

she’s not a regular girl, you guys, she’s a ~cool~ girl.

Hopefully he Darwined himself.

If you try to explain that being stripped of *all* benefits upon employment often puts benefit recipients in a worse financial position and thus disincentivizes employment, you will definitely get frothing and sputtering and “I don’t care, they should work anyway, I did, no one ever helped me, bootstraps”. It’s like…

I have a copy of Fascinating Womanhood - I have a small collection of advice books from the 50s - 70s because I think their dictates of how a “lady” should behave are really interesting. Did you know Pat Boone wrote one? Yeah, THAT Pat Boone?

Perusing his binders full of women.