That sounds lovely. I'll have a latte with an extra shot of espresso. And a slice of pie.

HA! You should have sent that message. Might as well turn OKC into fun for ourselves.

Yeah, I don't disagree with you. Though on the other hand it's fun to come up with responses to those types of profiles.

Fair enough; I knew that already. Though the rub is that, objectively speaking, very few people are going to be finding me (physically) attractive.

Well, cognitively I know that if someone doesn't find my joke funny, there probably isn't much there to develop anyway. Knowing that that's true doesn't make it any less disconcerting, though.

I'll go with that.

Why do we even try, am I right?

As much as I enjoy reading people's posts about absurd/creepy OKC messages, I thought I'd give a sampling of messages I've sent that I thought were kinda funny but I got no response on:

If OKC allowed custom body types (which would be simultaneously exciting and terrifying), I would recommend "athletically Rubenesque."But, yeah, size 8 certainly thin in my mind.

So here's a question I have: does it seem conceited if I put my body type as "skinny"? I think I'm objectively skinny, though I'm also short, so it can be harder to tell, I guess? (I hope people don't think I'm lying?)

Because I like over-analyzing things with statistics, here's a breakdown of my OKC response rate!

Thanks for the insight.

Oh, yeah, I remember reading that article. Interesting stuff.

That's weird for a whole other reason: he thought that women would care more about the number representing his height than his actual height? If you really dissect it, it gets weirder.

No more slow dances?! My world is crushed. I'm only half joking.

Thanks!

Bizarre. What exactly did he think was going to happen?

Well, that certainly cuts right to the chase. Presumably you would need pretty strong abdominal muscles for such a feat (in addition to the more obvious requirement). I think you win.

Yeah, for sure. If there's anything I've gained from this discussion, it's that it's silly to assume what someone is thinking or prefers. Everyone's just too different.

At that point, it's almost too ridiculous to be offensive. It just becomes pathetically hilarious. But that's easy for me to say.