You gotta out the ball over the white part of the plate

Are you guys really gonna make me defend Angel Hernandez? Those first three were close as shit. Of course, no defending the last one.

The first two goals, scored in the first minute and 47 seconds of the first period, set a relatively silly new mark in NHL history

So instead of playing Fortnight, they’re just going to go to strip clubs together?

Can we get smartwatches on the refs’ wrists that vibrate when the play clock hits zero? This kind of mistake is inevitable when part of the referee’s job is to literally look two places at once.

“C’mon, just have one drink. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Bill is just upset because he puts more effort into his cheating.

Well, that possum does have experience in the pocket.

You don’t travel that much do you?

Now the umpires can address them by name.

one dick and two balls disagree with you on the Salah goal

Waving off the Salah goal was perfectly reasonable. Clear foul on Sturridge. 

There’s a lot of blame going around for the Steelers’ poor start, but so far I haven’t seen too many people point their fingers at the most logical culprit: Antonio Brown and James Conner’s awful just-lost-a-fight-with-a-weed-whacker haircuts.

Nice of the team to let Homeless Conor McGregor answer some questions.

They get one tie and think they’re too good for him now.

I think you’ve put a bit too much thought into this.

Like on haircuts?

Dude signed a $100 million contract but can't shell out $4 for some Coppertone.

The only way to beat an 0-16 season is to go 0-16 in a second season. It’s tough considering they’ll play the Bears four times over that stretch, but if there’s a team capable of pulling it off, it’s the Lions.

You knew Detroit wasn’t going to just let a chance slip by to retake the throne after Cleveland earned a tie.