Allow me to calleth bullshit on these lines: “I am not happy to write this kind of essay. Not at all. I do not like to do it.”

I can summarize pretty much every episode of Fixer Upper:

VINTAGE FLIP! There’s a new show on HGTV called Vintage Flip where they buy older houses in Southern California and fix them up fairly period-appropriately. It’s really good, not sure why it isn’t in reruns.

Oh my GAWD.

Waco resident here. Many of us have mixed feelings about the Gaineses. Their rapid development of the Silo project is seen as a major factor in the almost doubling of property taxes downtown, and many of the small businesses are worried about being unable to afford to stay in the area. People are also angry about…

I watched a few episodes, but I ultimately gave it up because all of their interactions with their kids were incredibly gendered. Doing yardwork with the boys, picking curtain samples with the girls kind of thing. It was painful to watch after a while.

Chip Gaines has skeletons in his closet, no? That cool youth pastor lets hang out and drink beer vibe he has concerns me.

With the guy who makes all her tables. Calling it now.

When restoring a house, it is SO important to be true to the style of the home. The downside of the boom in these home renovation shows is that people with terrible taste and worse skill think that they should be renovaitng their homes in styles that don’t match the integrity of the house.

This is appointment tv for me and my husband. We call it “rustic as fuck”. the style is getting a bit old but they do seem like generally nice people and not fake like the property bros. I personally like the big clocks but then again I’m basically blind and always running late.

Chip and JoJo creep me the fuck out and I seriously wonder what kind of dark shit they’re hiding.

Shhh, Oscar, it’s okay! Cry into your Star Wars money...

“Jnaw”

Ryan Lochte is the real life version of Kevin from Ghostbusters.

tbh I’ve never understood his appeal. And I was a competitive swimmer. By all accounts, he should have been right up my lane (ha).

Well, one, with Bumble[,] the girl always has to make the first [move], and I don’t really like that. I don’t think that’s a woman job...[so] I got off that.

I feel like we all need this right now.

BREAKING: he followed her back; however, all of his photos are still gone. *Law and Order-style “jung jung”*

Reductress has a great takedown,