Plus if there’s definitely more dunkers who can homer than homers who can dunk out there, right? So if most people who can dunk can ALSO hit a home run, you’ve won the argument right there.

Are people actually going out of their way to go stare at the eclipse? Do these people know that, like, Netflix and shit exists?

Am I the only one who doesn’t give a shit about eclipses? I mean, I’ve seen a handful throughout my life and they’re cool to look at for like 1.5 seconds, but I honestly don’t see what the big deal is.

EVERY FUCKING DAY

David Freese (He has a friend with a dog named Dave, so when they’re hanging out, he’s Davehuman. “It’s funny to, like, five people,” Freese said.)

As opposed to what he would give to his kids, Jay decided to give football one last shot.

And congrats to all the Cubs fans for getting another moment to pat themselves on the back for feeling bad about how they ruined this guys fucking life all those years ago. It’s ok now, he’s got jewelry.

I gave Vic Mensa’s newest album, The Autobiography, two streams this weekend, just on principle alone. 

I got an idea. Why not wait and watch the show to see how it is?

I don’t have anything pertinent to add, but I just wanted to say that this was a hell of an article. I don’t follow boxing or MMA very closely, but I was riveted. VERY well done.

“Working on more adult acting roles”

well...Juice’s hands were too big....maybe we found the real killer

I was going to go to the movies this afternoon, but there’s nothing out there as dramatic as the responses to this take are going to be.

Listening to older white co-workers STILL angrily talk about OJ. Just... stop being angry. He was acquitted.

At least the truck stood its ground...

That fun little nugget was absolutely the most terrifying part for me...like this man thinks we’re all up in arms over $12/month insurance? Can we uh...please have $12/month insurance that appreciates over time?

Who’s paying $12 for insurance?

My first thought was “Is this dementia or is this just lots of cocaine?”

Walk into any dementia-care area of a nursing home and you can have basically the same conversation. I’m not kidding.