Jar Jar Binks wakes up in his bedroom, turns to Suzanne Pleshette and says, “You-sa wont be believin’ the crazy dream meesa just had!”

What’s the fucking point in reading the whole article when you can get really angry the few things you saw while skimming?

I honestly didn’t know what you were talking about at first. But I now assume you’re talking about the crawl and the misspelling of “acknowledged.” 

I know most of her ideas about how to properly educate American children are really dumb, but jesus christ, how fucking stupid does she have to be to think that this was going to go well for her?

How on Earth did she get invited to be the commencement speaker at a university, much less an HBCU campus? This is on that school’s administration.

Back in college, Greg Oden would win these races all by himself.

There’s no such thing as a “normal friendly clown.” All clowns are fucking weird and terrifying and should be considered threatening.

Well, WNBA voting is done by fan balloting. In addition to a mother and father, Schimmel has a sister, so that’s usually enough votes to push through.

Wait. What? Bill Laimbeer coaches a WNBA team?

how did this dumb shit get out ofthe greys?

Wait...you guys had a fucking pancake machine? Now the veil is drawn back, Gawker was just one elaborate false flag operation by the 1%!! Well I hope you all burn in hell after drowning in your sweet pancake battered ivory tower!......I might need to go to sleep now.

I love how even Mark Zuckerberg was not important enough for them to open the China cabinet and use the good setting. Plastic plates, cups and cutlery for guests... why am I not surprised these folks voted for Trump?

He was thinking of bringing a sign listing all of the subpar QBs Chicago has cycled through its shit factory over the last 65 years since Sid Luckman last suited up, but it was 138 feet long, comprised of 52 separate poster boards, and totally unwieldy.

I’m sure his kids will be happy to hear your take when he has to tell them he’s been let go.

I know everyone has opinions on these people, but generally I’m just overall sad about the layoffs. This is a lot of people flooding the market in an industry that’s not exactly thriving.

No couple REALLY cues up an episode of Real Sex to get in the mood.

So...LSD it is!