...or better yet, just buy the entire brewery. 

Pony keg??? You’ll just get ripped off on that, just have an entire truckload of kegs delivered if you really want to get your money’s worth.

I paid real, US currency for a copy of that on DVD. It was a bootleg someone made that included the Holiday Special, The Muppet Show episode with a few Star Wars cast members, and a bunch of old Star Wars action figure commercials. Worth every single penny of the $5 I spent on it.

The Golden Girls/Star Wars Mashup that we didn’t know we needed until this moment.

I’m vegan, but not to eat healthier. I’m vegan for your motivations #2 and #3. I eat Oreos, vegan ice creams, potato chips, and all sorts of other junk food. We fatass vegans exist. In fact, I just had an Impossible Whopper and a large order of fries for lunch today.

A woman came up to me yesterday and said to me, governor, please tell the president to tell these Democrats to leave my healthcare alone.

What’s he doing in that photo? Is he about to get into a boxing match with that flag?

Coming this Winter to The Takeout...

So my region of Pennsylvania is one of the test regions for this. I just got a footlong Beyond Meatball sandwich, and it was pretty good. I’ll definitely get it again.

...and 9 is a high as you can get even with tits unless you’re his daughter.

If Trump realized Puerto Rico was a US Territory, he’d try to sell it to the highest bidder, or maybe try to trade it to Denmark for Greenland.

I think you buried the lead on this one. Alton Brown suggested a hot dog could be a taco, and I think that’s the new correct answer.

That’s the level of journalistic integrity and thoroughness that I come to expect from this site. Thanks. :)

So was “wankiness” a typo for “wackiness”? I was concerned that this article was going to be about Alton Brown and wanking (yet admittedly, I did still click the link to read the article).

I stopped watching the video about 10 seconds in. That singing was horrible.

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

I’d read that.

Adding pumpkin spice to something that’s already terrible doesn’t make it less terrible.

I think I just threw up in my mouth...

Allison drafted an Old Fashioned in the first round, so she is the clear winner.