All I can say is that ever since I accidentally slammed my finger in the door of my Ferrari, I've been begging for death. Me Before You gets it.

Fresno Fire 2: You Threw Up on My Dockers, and I Loved It

I think they should give the part to Flo from the Progressive ads.

I bet he's just hiding his leetle yellow skeen.

Once I thought James Franco was kind of an decent actor. Now, whenever I see his name in an article, I think, "Okay, that's a project I clearly don't need to look into or get excited about."

Personally, I think the film's advertising makes it look like a 1990s vision of the 1970s. But to each his own.

It's worth visiting if they didn't charge $25 or whatever the hell the price is now. It's a solid $10 experience. A beautiful house with lots of memorable details.

Prime Time Mimes

You do know that Matthew Scanlon was quoting from Trainwreck, right? And not Chasing Amy, in which there is no on-screen character named Amy? Otherwise I agree with you, Chasing Amy sucks.

We tend to talk about the LGBT community as if they're one big supportive collective… but in real life, the L's, the G's and the T's each pretty much stick with their own kind, and none of them like the B's.

As I understand it, Thom Yorke was taking the "Which Radiohead Member Are You?" quiz on Buzzfeed for the fifth time, and even though he purposefully selected the answers that would skew the results in his favor, he once again got "You are Jonny Greenwood, the cute one!"

Still, no one says "Let's get those panties off!" like Larry King.

It took me a while to catch Barking Dogs Never Bite but it is very much worth seeing! Very funny, expertly plotted and shot, and Doona Bae is always great.

This movie is going to get great play on airplanes.

I've been to Montgomery and can vouch for two blocks of it being cool.

At film festivals, it's customary for interns to announce, at the end of a screening, "Elvis Mitchell has written a scathing review."

Some Dowagers Are Bigger Than Others

A gentleman never speaks of lovemaking above the chin.

I have stretched my entire mouth around Reese's mighty plowshare of a jaw, and I guarantee you that it's the most erotic experience a man can ever have.

Mostly I remember how poor James Noble had to read the line "Benson, starring Robert Guillaume, will be right back" before commercial breaks. Even as a kid, I figured that must have been awkward for him.