Ideally we can get rid of the major league games too. Just analyze the swings of each team’s hitters, the spin rate of each team’s pitchers, and declare a champion.

The closest minor league park (single A Lakewood) to me offers $5 general admission tickets. Children five and under do not require tickets. On Sundays and Mondays, kids eat for free. Parking is $5. So when I take my kids, 5 and 7, to a game, I pay $10 for 2 tickets and $5 for parking. Once we get inside the…

It only works if the joke goes beyond ref cosplay! Wear sunglasses! A white cane with a red top! A damn money bag or some dumb shit.

Hey all. Just wanted to drop in here and give a very sincere thank you to everyone who’s read the piece and everyone who’s commented below. I had to kind of talk myself into writing this, for a number of reasons, but I’m glad I did, and I’m deeply moved by the responses here—by those of you sharing your own…

What part of "my own personal Derry" made you think it was going to be anything but a personal story?

I’m currently listening to the audiobook, and this book is still great.

Last time a Tiger jumped on a pile of bodies it got a 7 iron upside the head.

My Mom had all girls and “boy moms” used to annoy her so much. They all seemed to assume that being loud, messy, and roughhousing was something only boys did. She would frequently point out that my sisters and I did all of those things (especially the story where my middle sister and I were fighting and fell onto the…

I would like to nominate West Virginia, please. All the dickishness of the south without even the veneer of Southern Hospitality to make it go down easier.

This. I left South Carolina years ago. My folks still live there so I go and visit every so often. Go to the beach, go to Brookgreen Gardens, eat along the Marshwalk in Murrell’s Inlet, etc. Love it. LOVE. IT. But fuck if I ever want to move back. 

I live in Oregon but once you get outside of Portland, Eugene and Bend we’re overrun with proudly uneducated white supremacist MAGAts. Though the same can be said for Washington anywhere outside of Seattle. I haven’t been to Idaho but I heard Cour d’Alane and areas up north are beautiful and Boise is really nice but…

I think you just may have cracked this case, Clancy.

Phil Neville is something of a cunt, I read that hotel story this morning thinking there might be something to it and realized halfway through that Phil Neville is something of a cunt.

Or like how in America bananas are seen as nourishment while in England they are viewed as aerial projectiles to be hurled at black players?

Ah yes, the country that declares the Men’s World Cup trophy (created by a Frenchman and awarded by an organization based in Switzerland) is “coming home” anytime they string a couple of victories together is schooling us on arrogance. Got it.

Gotta say, I agree with Neville here. The USMNT would never display such arrogance. Heck, they didn’t visit ANY hotels in Russia during the 2018 World Cup!

And they all congratulated you for giving the best blow job.

Man, using a Benoit gif really made this whole kid thing come full circle, huh.

This probably isn’t even a question. But is there a worst decision than trying to sleep next to your kid?

Especially when you learn that Nermal had her passport taken away immediately and had to build a golf course there.