the first fucking time zach hample was useful for anything

Where the hell is that asshole who catches like a dozen foul balls every season? Get him to cough up a couple of them and see if they’re different across different years.

That seems fishy but I do think Tim Salmon also improved after age 25.

How did this article get passed the Deadspin editors? It’s a whole post on Cincinnati without a single colorful metaphor comparing Skyline chili to some animal’s diseased excretory functions. I didn’t think that was allowed.

I am. People are irresponsible dog owners. Dogs deserve better.

He can also go fuck himself:  

You can’t get so fiery this early. This is bananas, Foster.

We need the Beatty Truthers. Where’s Pete Carroll?

He’ll be vindicated. How would anyone be expected to call an audible when they think they are being handed the wrong card with 7 seconds to react with 50 million people watching. You don’t expect you’re getting the wrong card and that someone else fucked up. You could see him thinking about it but not believing what…

You can stand under a steamy shower for days, however, and never run out of hot water, which makes it the best place in the world in my opinion. Additionally, while they believe in hill trolls they don’t actually elect them to the highest offices in the land.

I’m waiting to hear what the issue is with having $2m worth of jewelry.

California is too chill for defense.

That’s a xiphos not a gladius. What the fuck, Trojans? Where’s the investigation for THAT outrage?!

Guess they finally tapped out the whole lucrative “fat people who frequent amusement parks” demo

Elin Woods.

I am also not on speaking terms with the Rodgers family.

Having fun every weekend in your 20s is way better than doing it in your 40s.

Forgiveness is the best way. It rarely makes everything right, but it is a healthy way forward for all parties.

Stop pretending to be so bitter and self-righteous.

I don't mean for this to come off as pretentious, but you sound like a jealous asshole who just hasn't enjoyed the purest form of the taco. Everything you have ever eaten in your life has essentially been garbage. Everything. Once again, I'm not trying to sound like a jerk, but "taco meat" is NOT just the protein we…

ground beef is the According to Jim of taco proteins.