Shame on me for unintentionally omitting his Islamophobia!

Holy crap, I didn’t know that was how shingles worked. Everyone I know that had it always had it in big patches on their torso. I will add this to the list of things to worry about now.

In one ear. Just in the ear. Shingles can occur along any nerve fiber, I think? My mom got it on her eyelid the same year.

I’m diagnosing myself with this right fucking now. My husband can’t complain since he only hears me about half the time anyway.

Don’t romanticize this too much. There’s a big chance she can still hear Jared Kushner’s voice. 

Why does anyone give a fuck what you think?

excellent gif usage. and may i also add:

“You know what this article about a woman and her accomplishment needs more of? INFORMATION ABOUT MY BONER/LACK THEREOF!”

Ok...and how is your unhappy dick relevant to this story?

Ugh! The hand patting on top of the shake! The second hand embarrassment is strong!

Side note, I hold a forever grudge against people who give me shitty handshakes it is literally the rudest.