“A three-hour bus ride to Sarasota,” “stuck on an airport tarmac indefinitely due to a mechanical problem,” “dreary-ass Syracuse, ... 27 degrees Fahrenheit,” “Washington, DC,” and “the New York Mets” are Cantos III, IV, VI, XII, and XVII of Dante’s Inferno.

Good god, man! Are you insane? We’re still dealing with the last not-that-realistic robot that got out and interacted with the US government:

You sure about that?

Time to flush the anthem ritual altogether. “America” doesn’t need to be “honored” before every single sportsball game and everyone doesn’t need to stand at attention to “pay tribute” to the blah blahs who blah blah blahed to protect their blah blah. It’s a sports game, televised programming that draws rating and ad…

That Axel Foley jacket is the fucking bees knees too. Damn.

You’re wrong.

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

After listening to my fellow Destiny fans over the past year (both in-game and on this, and other, sites), this really just leaves me feeling bad for Bungie (it is, admittedly, a foreign sensation....). This was no-win for them from the start, due to the sins of the past (so to speak).

I’m sure I’m not the first to make this comment or connection, but from a lore perspective, this couldn’t possibly be more exciting!

USADA: We’re going to allow this. Any objections?
Pacquiao: [can’t raise hand]

Can we call it the Two-By-Four? I’m calling it the Two-By-Four.

Scott Boras: “I will bitch in the playoffs.”

Bold statement.

Correction: the Dodgers now have a payroll of $42,000,000,001.

Why would Niners fans drink that, when for a mere $90 you can probably get some sort of Pinot Noir made from the grapes atop Levis Stadium? I’m sure for an extra $15 they could just pour it right in your eyes.

Yeah that “cafe racer” fad was a quick 40+ year flash in the pan.

He won’t get the nomination. Even if he leads the GOP will come up with some weird ass provision that will leave him out (like they tried with the debate). The good news is that will drive him to say even more insane things to drag the party down for pushing him out - and the crazies will agree with him.

I think I’ve just about reached the moment when I would vote for a presidential candidate who actively campaigned on a platform of nihilism. Imagine that fucking debate:

Robin Miller suddenly gained a whole bunch of anonymous sources.

Hey guys, sometimes when you want to make an omelet, you have to make sure someone else pays billions of dollars for the eggs, promise them that the omelet will make a positive economic impact, put the eggs in your own pocket, substitute dog shit for the eggs, and then laugh maniacally while you watch everyone eat…