You could claim all three, really.

By defensive monster you mean good player who benefits from playing next to JJ Watt?

And it wasn’t even the craziest sporting event in London that evening.

Halep/Serena > 1/8.

Who do you most wish would spit in your mouths, Simmons or Portnoy?

The most English thing possible now would be to beat Australia by making 380, and then losing on Sunday to NZ when they fail to chase 230.

And the next time she loses, this will mean jack.

Kawhi is LeBron’s self-image.

Why was he ever going to the Lakers? He’s not LeBron, riding bitch to Dwyane Wade and Kyrie.

Beijing is in southeast Asia?

Since Gordon Ramsay is Scottish, I can almost guarantee he would have been celebrating England’s defeat like every American doing the same: watching maybe 10 minutes of the game and then going off like the biggest maga dickcheese imaginable at a Trump Nuremberg-esque rally, because their side won.

Is Deadspin taking the position of a holocaust museum in trying to paint this as outrageous?

absolute figjam

I’m sure Deadspin’s focus on this story was not on the NFL owner, as this article would suggest.

Yes, the same league which handed down a suspension for cold weather is content to sit on their hands with this side deal everyone apparently knows about. Marchman-level take.

More like everyone else on Denver either left after they got their ring, or stopped playing as hard after they got their ring. 

It’s almost as if Deadspin (perhaps the internet in general) hates what they project Simmons as rather than what he is.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess Durant played because he wanted to, not because the Warriors forced him out onto that court. Same as Kawhi not playing last season.

That’s easier than finding a specific house name; just go in the direction that’s hotter. Or have Steve Martin as a fire chief.

Somehow, you’ve managed to come up with a worse takeaway from this than even Deadspin.