I have an uncle who was born just before midnight, March 31. My grandma swears she told the doctor if he was born on April 1 she wouldn’t pay him.

*hikes up pants, adjusts pipe* Back in my day, you pulled shit in the handshake line-up all the time. Either high-fiving the other girl’s hand just a tiny bit too hard, or, most of the time, just avoid the hand, like our friend Haley here. Almost always accompanied with “bad game, bad game, bad game”, etc. Douchey,…

Whoever wrote that headline

Lots of tweets, but pictures would say much more. If their leggings were shear enough to effectively be pantyhose/underwear as opposed to proper clothing, I would side with United. It’s unreasonable to assume that just because one of the passengers was young that her parents had her dressed properly. We really…

Kyle Busch is the guy who is generally just a huge asshole, right?

I’m guessing (I don’t know the La La Land dudes) that the bald fellow who broke the news over the mic was the above-mentioned Jordan Horowitz?

I’ve never seen him before but I admire how he was serious as a heart attack about this. He wasn’t having any jokes, he was not putting up with any confusion, and he fucking…

GIRL CRUSHED THAT SONG.

The middle east was the height of culture and civilization at one point in time.

When oil is obsolete, what will be the more primitive place: Texas or the Middle East?

Even their booing of Goodell is tainted. Everyone else hates him because of bullshit like punishing weed worse than domestic violence, covering up CTE, or arbitrary bullshit like punishing players for celebrating or wearing the wrong shoes.

His supporters still think trickle down economics is brilliant. They’ll cheer on this change. Because of the billionaires just get richer, maybe one day I’ll make some money too! And let’s not forget they’re JOB CREATORS. even though most of them don’t believe in minimum wage period. Maybe jobs will come back but…

*unless it’s Bama.

Well let’s see..........

“Help me!”

“We shoulda had more time.”

It could result in mike pence becoming president which I fear more than a trump presidency.

This sentence sounds like it was written by a man who wants us to be impressed because he knows a bunch of big words...

I keep thinking back to my high school English teacher. If I had turned that in as a sentence in an essay, he would have handed it back to me and said “You like to show off? How about you diagram this sentence for the class.”