The great thing about jazz is that if it starts getting boring, you can just play other notes.

Jesus, those uniforms are garish...I hate West Virginia.

Let’s hope we come up with a different solution to this problem than we did for 9/11.

Please, please, please, let the Trump-Pence administration’s first full scale scandal... be the contents of leaked emails.

Man... I remember drinking on weekdays. Good for you!

Anthony Bourdain deserves better than this.

Definitely a team filled with a buncha dogs, no cats.

YOU’RE AT WORK, PALLIE, PUT ON YOUR FUCKING SHOES

INTERWEBZ JUSTICE WARRIOR WHO DOES NOTHING TO HELP SOCIETY!

This is the correct answer.

I believe the letters “F-A-T-A-L-I-T-Y” will appear over you and the victim in some sort of dripping blood font.

I don’t think anybody hates the Caps more than Caps’ fans right now.

69 counts of indecent exposure? Nice.

New headline: Phillies propensity for KKKs leads to the Birth of a Nation-al League contender.

“Whereas we would prefer you Hold On Loosely.” -38 Special.

17:38

I know, right? What the hell is 17:30?

Ah, come on. That’s not that bad of a tweet. Cut the man some slacks.

These are the precious moments they’ll never remember

James Harrison just knocked over his dining table.