His family refuses to ride in his car that probably should have been sent to the junkyard years ago, so it’s time for a replacement that’s safe but not lame. What car should he buy?

Lol Ray. From dragoning cars as Jalopnik chief to GM spokesperson

“See ya later, instigator!”

No.

Doesn’t want: Nothing too unreliable,

Welcome to Jalopnik where everything you just said is wrong! Acceptable modifications to your statement include:

*Whispers while covering mouth*

2014 - 2017 Buick Regal GS. You can find a newer one that’s lightly used fresh off a lease well within budget and still have a ton of factor warranty left. You’d be getting a car with decent power and handling as well as a better interior than a lot of other cars in that price range for the age etc.

GMCs looking like Fords. Fords looking like Chevys with a bar across the middle of the grill. :shrug

Week Sauce 4.3? 300HP and 300 lb/ft of Torque is nothing to sneeze at, I’d much rather have the 4.3 gently producing those numbers as opposed to the 2.7 getting wound up to produce slightly better numbers.

riding as a passenger in the Hoffmann is somehow even more terrifying than driving it

I’ve always wanted to be the person you think of when you think of terrible cars.

THEY BLOW A VAPE CLOUD AT YOU!

Read this VERY carefully, it may save your life.

Fuck the Jeep Liberty.

Back in the day BMW drivers used to flash their high beams to greet a fellow lessee.

Chevy Bolt: a Tesla for smart people.

Yeah, well Toyota makes better forklifts! (which is just as relevant as 50's Cadillacs to this discussion)

I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time understanding how the interior has any importance when you’re shopping for a 10+ year old manual 400hp sedan for 10-12k.

That’s a stupid reason.