The only consistent truth about college football is that people are unhappy with how the champion is crowned.

So you’re saying a team owned by predatory mortgage lender is attempting some real estate shenanigans? Sounds kinda far fetched.

Obama saved the entire US auto industry. Yet he’s a socialist cuck according to these uneducated shit brains.

Such a ridiculous double standard when it comes to catching your spouse masturbating. The few times I’ve caught my wife or found out about it later I’m like “Hey now, that’s hot...want some company?” But whenever she catches me it’s all “Gross! What’s wrong with you? At least wait until the funeral is over!”

Sorry dude—if Mike Pence’s bible taught me anything it’s that smiting my brother is just fine down here because I only answer to Jesus. Petard hoisted.

Thanks, man. Good to know; I love bananas and mashed potatoes. As Weird Al said, they can be your friends.

As a Jets fan, I have already flexed the rest of the season into the garbage.

“maybe you’ve been frozen out by your team because you got your work done quickly (and made them look bad in the process), given low-visibility responsibilities by your boss after you asked her not to take credit for your work, or asked to cancel your presentation so that a favored senior manager could make his.”

It was a fair warning, but ok...

*Watches Jaguars-Titans*

“Hansen could pursue an NHL team”

Did you know the team you were flirting with online was only 13?

Doubt it. That would mean he’s smart, a fucking genius. I’ve said this before, but if he’s really in this just for the money or even to take down the GOP then we should erect a fifty-foot tall golden statue in his honor in Central Park.

He cheats on his wives, he cheats on his taxes, he cheats in golf, this guy’s a cheater straight up. Everyone knows it. Republicans are willing to look the other way because they are cheaters and liars, too.

“That’s why Trump is going to win this election.” I was with you until you predicted that Trump was going to win the election. He’s down in the polls right now, with very little time to make up ground. It took him about a month and a half to come back from the Khan fiasco.

Because it’s not actually illegal. It’s shady as hell and immoral that the tax code is written this way, but it’s not illegal.

Let’s do a little story problem:

Such bullshit that it was voted down here. The city should have gone after the tax-exempt status of all those shitty churches that told their congregations to vote against it.

Someone: “You should spend more money so your product is better.”

Bush: My mom said I can’t go play in the snow because I always track it through the house when I come home. *Sits in window, wistfully watches other kids playing outside.”