So the lessons to take away:

This is your first kid, isn’t it?

It’s been sullied by poors.

My wife and I brew both tea and coffee in our French press. One device: multiple uses.

I am mortified and offended that Cinnamon Toast crunch is not on this list. Do better guys, just do better

It’s from La La Land. Big choreographed dance sequence. Musical nerd dubgasm was dancing in his seat while jalop dubgasm cringed for a hot second before I realized that I didn’t care what they were doing to a Saturn L200, a Dodge Intrepid, or a MkIV Jetta

What believers of the pay gap don’t think about is if it were legal to pay women less than men then why are companies, which are concerned about the bottom line almost exclusively) still hiring men? If a company could save 27% on its payroll costs by only hiring women you better believe they would do it.

“Nationally, when we control for job title, job level and other important influencers of wages (like years of work experience), women still only make 98 cents for every dollar earned by men.”

“now I’ve got a sealed transfer case”

The EPA, without regard to it’s noble mission, is a bureaucratic clusterfuck.

Maybe it sucks because you’re incredibly bitter and people can tell.

Not excusing the University but what idiot thinks 30 grams of anhydrous caffeine won’t fuck you up? That’s like a dime bag full. Honestly, put 30 grams of powdered sugar or cornstarch on a digital kitchen scale and you can get a sense of how much caffeine that is. Don’t bother, I have. (Yes, I tared the penny)

I was giving my little sister some driving tips last week and the first thing out of my mouth was “don’t get in the left lane and be slow. It’s for passing, I hate people who cruise in the left lane”

“It’s OK to stay in the left lane as long as I can do the speed limit”

The passive-aggressive smugness of Canadians never ceases to amaze me. Here’s your “leader who is more focused on human rights and climate change than he is about making sure corporations are taxed less” approving pipeline expansions and being condemned by environmentalists...

So... it’s gang members shooting each other. Cool. Now can we focus on THAT problem rather than throwing legislative resources at law-abiding people by restricting behavior with laws that gang members will not obey?

Sorry, that time has already come and gone. I would bin any resumes from current Theranos employees. Either they were part of the dubious business practices or too stupid to leave a sinking ship.

He was only off by two feet.

your uncle is a POS

Criticizing racism with more racism. Classic