Sleeper Agent.

You get a star for having a wife that knows classes of subs!

where the hell did he think he was going to swim to, Bermuda??

Pre-meth:

this is the Michael Phelps Vs a Shark race we all wanted

Me: “How did his guy swim miles out into the ocean? Is he Michael Phelps?”

I was wondering why nobody was giving him the single finger salute.

I’m surprised that the white car wasn’t immediately swarmed by Secret Service and police. Just one SUV lazily makes a U-turn to check it out.

All the fat fucks recording their loverboy Trump were so excited to see some sort of action even if it doesn’t involve their little prick.

“It’s ok guys. It was a white car. It was merely foraging.... not looting like those black cars”

Tremendous assassins, the best, real bad hombres... we’re gonna build a wall around my motorcade and we’re gonna make them pay for it! #makemotorcadesgreatagain

Good thing it wasn’t a black car

Look at all those police Chargers and Durangos. Nice.

Trump tweets about escaping assasination attempt in 3...2...1

“The Hugest Assasination, really dangerous guys. You wouldn’t believe how assasiny they were. Some guys I know , really top guys, were assassinated by these guys.”

easily removed, tieone end of the rope to the wing, the other end to a tree, and floor it

The best stock wing

EVERY CAR LOOKS LIKE A BLEND OF OTHER CARS. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY WAYS TO BLEND RECTANGLES AND ROUND THINGS INTO A THREE BOX SHAPE.

Straight outa Compton

“Lastly, you’ll be fine if the airline loses your luggage. You won’t have to show up to that big meeting in sweatpants.”