I absolutely went through a period when I attempted to use tape to get straight sideburns. During this period, I was convinced I could market a product called "Face Tape," where dudes could use a low-stickiness tape to shave intricate patterns into their face.

Headline Note: It's spelled "l-u-l-z," not "c-h-a-l-l-e-n-g-e."

[www.youtube.com]

ARGH YOU BEAT ME TO IT. And hearted.

I mean, we live in California. I'm high right now. We just wanted to go be high somewhere else. And, you know, see art or whatever.

Time to come up for a new plan for me and my wife's "joint" 40th birthday month.

I just posted this on the other Weiner story, but I feel it bears repeating for any other dude who might need to review the data: [pics.brizzly.com]

It absolutely bums me out, and that is why I've prepared a handy chart on the matter for guys everywhere: [pics.brizzly.com] You're either part of the problem or part of the solution, right?

Always. No handsome guy with his own apartment has ever been a misogynist.

[cache.gawkerassets.com]

Why would you run that picture with this article?

That's pretty great. But I was thinking more along the lines of: [flavorwire.com]

But...That would mean...Both options are...Possible...? (HEAD EXPLODES)

From the metric fuck-ton of commenters defending their God-given right to dress and act like a Keane painting, I think we're seeing the birth of a whole new national movement.

(Don't forget Jackie Brown!)

HEARTED

This reads like a Lifetime movie directed by John Waters. I love it. I guess if I had a soul, I'd be bummed that the kids were now being brought into it*. But the balance of it is so goddamned delightful, it just makes me smile. I wish I could exact delightful, long-con revenge on the people that made high school such…

Now here's the odd thing. After doing a little digging around, I found the comments from the 1946 message board this was first posted on:

They should just hand the pilot off to Rifftrax. At least let something good come of it.

"'It's satire,' he says, testily. But what's it satirizing? 'What?' he says. What's it satirizing? 'It's satirising the whole idea of a pretty girl being executed.'"