Lochte is 32 in HUMAN years. He’s only like a teenager in mermaid years.

As an alum of SEC football, I both denounce and applaud this comment.

Jeaheez Mom! Now my friends have to stay in Brazilian jail, thanks a lot. Also, I don’t even like the cherry fruit roll ups you got me, you’re the worst!

Christ. Never tell Mom anything.

Be fair. Their gold medals are in swimming, not truth-telling.

Seriously. “These kids.” Lochte is 32 fucking years old. Yes, he’s an idiot, but he’s a grown-ass idiot.

Let this be a lesson why you should never tell your mother anything.

I think we should be more worried about this 4th swimmer who is attempting to swim all the way home