Angelina stayed with Brad when he had the stupid long hair, and for that he should be grateful.

I liked George Clooney’s response--and I didn’t find it “hilarious” or particularly awkward. It was a mixture of “That sucks for my friends” and thinly veiled disgust at a weasely reporter asking him to comment on celebrity gossip (about his friends) while he was at the United Fucking Nations, probably talking about…

I am torn between my decent human side feeling bad for their kids for the absolute tabloid shitshow of a trainwreck that’s about to happen, and my petty side clapping in glee for it.

Let’s be real, Tom is probably actually dancing to that song rn.

I would say give him Ford Pinto and be done with that

No. Just no.

I strongly suspect that Prince Philip has never warned anyone against making a racist remark - even in jest.

I really want Evan Peters to love himself. I want to sit him down and try to make him understand that there are so many interesting and beautiful and successful women out there ready and willing to put their mouth on his dick. Ready and willing preparing themselves so long for that moment. So, why are with this girl…

Someone tried to cold read my friend on the street once. She was laughing about it, but when he said something about her Dad being peaceful in heaven she dead stopped laughing, put on her best befuddled expression and said “Are you sure? Cause my Dad definitely killed some people.”

Ugh, my mom loved that show. She was convinced that she could get on the show and talk with her beloved dead grandmother. I told her she was just as likely to get in touch with her dead asshole father and get a beyond-the-grave rant about Koreans and women nowadays.

I’ve always said that if someone wants to be bad, they should be good at being bad. Go all in on evil.

I would very possibly be more interested in those shows if these were the actual names.

It’s kind of twisted, but he if he actually bought, and read her book, I’m marginally impressed with his dedication.

While I’m of the opinion that there are a lot of terrible shows out there, “Con Man with Dead Shark Eyes Manipulates Minor Celebs Using the Memory of Their Dead Loved Ones” is right up there at the top, along with “Family of Religious Fundamentalists Who Rate Their Need to Reproduce Higher Than the Health of Their…

I was watching Say Yes to the Dress and a girl’s father increased the budget because “you can’t put a price on our daughter’s happiness!”

“You don’t bring me flowers... You don’t sing me love songs... You don’t unfurl giant posters of me and show them to business acquaintances... anymore.”

I guess Anna Condo don’t want none anymore.

It will never happen, but when the police are called to a domestic dispute, they should remove any and all firearms from the house, every time, regardless of whether someone is arrested. You should have to apply to get them back, and have your spouse sign that application.

Look, these people were at a Trump event. They were silent because they were trying to count the years to figure out whether “8" years ago was Jesus’s first or second term.