She knows she most likely can’t go back to nannying — who in LA would hire her now to take care of their kids? So she’s going to use the spotlight to build a showbiz career.

I still maintain that hamster looked more like John.

A+ double creature. I have never seen a cat look more like Ronda Rousey than this cat does (though he needs a slightly more elongated face to really pull it off. Go home and work on your angles in a mirror, Marco the Cat).

Hey, Tom Brady —

So chick who expresses her whimsy by decorating her apartment in vomitous pastels and other peoples’ DIY craft crap > chicks who are “free-spirited globe-trott[ers].”

“He dissed the gents during a concert in Chicago”

I know — I really want to know what Mason’s friend did to earn that nickname.

I fucking love that movie.

Mason is a senior at Joan Holloway High School in Clinton Valley, a few miles outside of Baltimore. Mason is a great student. His favorite subject is Statistics, but his true passion is restoring antique tricycles. Glen the Glans and Michelle never know what he’s talking about, but the three of them are best friends…

I don’t know — you now how people have different categories of friend? Like I have my friends I go to baseball games with, and my friends I play trivia with, and my friends I see movies with.

Shady drifters with mysterious pasts invariably give good advice, though. That’s like the guiding premise of 60% of fairy tales.

• Ben Affleck asked ex-girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow for advice.

6 out of 10. Cat looks more like Tony Curtis, post multiple brow lift era.

#DCsolidarity. I want to pass a law that says if you have a DC driver’s license or ID, you can hit tourists with your umbrella for standing in front of you on the escalator.

My senior year in college (1998-9, for I am of the olds), I lived in a house in Tucson, AZ, that had an evaporative cooler, but no AC. It cooled things — kind of — overnight, but you could not be in that house for more than 40 minutes in the day time during the summer and have any hope of doing anything more taxing…

since my coffee house was in the middle of a Christian suburb, it was always very busy, especially on Fridays.

This is like the best lost Dr. Seuss verse ever.

Literally my exact reaction. Why don’t smart women know better?

HAH. I spent the first half of high school talking about the “car stimulators” in driver’s ed and not understanding why my parents kept losing it.