Normal stuff made strange through detail and context. Comment rated: Excellent. Would read again.

Oh god! Come back to us before you wither.

8/10 on comment/username.

That's the Pope. If you're a protestant you have to hustle for the luxury goods.

No, no, that's not how the Trinity works. God the Father hates you, Jesus forgives you, and the Holy Spirit is the voice in your head spouting nonsense.

Comment/username synergy.

Oooohh. So many straps.

PARTY LIKE A FIREMAN!

Sandwich.

(in the absence of Dr. Rumack)
Good luck, we're all counting on you.

You were the coolest thing about that wedding. By definition, few things that are 'conventional' are also 'special' or 'above average.' Being exceptional is hard, but you are a beacon of hope to others as long as you continue to run wild (carefully on the ankle of course).

Mrs. Forsythe thinks I'm crazy for not owning a facebook personally and asking her to not post images of the youngster on hers. Outside of the basic 'Grass is Always Greener' note made by @Judkins Major above, I just don't want to be one of those pleated khaki wearing breeders with their shitty little overprivileged…

Truckasaurus!

When both of those shows were new to the screen a friend of mine excitedly started describing the awsome guy he saw on TV surviving out in the wilderness that reminded him of me:
"Survivorman?"
"No, his name is 'grills' or something."
I was briefly heartbroken.

The Duchess' fierce gaze arrests my soul.

That's busch league bullshit.

He prefers to be called Dwayne now.

That was the one outstanding thought that I took away from this article: "These models conform to my expectation of what Swedes look like! Success?"

I believe that show also hypothosized the existence of high altitude spiders that herded the last living mammals, small rodents, as a food source. Mind. Blown.

Don't try to bait the Bell. It only rings for the deserving.