When asked why he was playing water polo, Cam replied, “I like to dab in a lot of different sports.”

Need someone to photoshop Johnny Football with a Mai Tai in the background

Kung Fu Pantless

A belt really isn’t all that necessary.

Pablo Sansabelt.

It'll be the second Belt to get an extension this weekend.

“My belt holds up my pants. My pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the fuck’s really going on down there? Who is the real hero?”
- Mitch Hedberg

“Hmmm, looks like Josh’s got a problem here. Maybe we should call timeout? ... Wait, I bet I can throw a bounce pass off his ass so that we can play this possession 4-on-5! Sure, let’s do that instead.”

“... AND they’d start me in something called the “D” League!” - Michael Sam to his agent

Not surprised that Josh Smith has found yet another way to leave his taint on the game of basketball.

Such a play is known as a Kobe, as it allows you to pass to yourself and involves an asshole.

“Perfectly executed”

Now the investigation will extend through the draft, Oakman will tumble down draft boards until the Cowboys select him at an incredible discount, and then later this summer the DA will come up with a reason not to file charges.

He hasn’t even been arrested yet. It could very well be a false accusation or money grab. Quit being an internet white knight.

A valuable lesson for all you dancers quarterbacks of the Pittsburgh Steelers out there. Keep those boners under control

When asked how he felt, Brown said that it was good to be the one laying the wood, for once.

Dude fucked a goalpost—what'd you expect?

Slow dancing with a massive boner was always the biggest obstacle to any junior high dance.

Don't be too hard-on him.