Huh. It’s almost like human feelings are...nuanced.

+1 hilariously out-of-place Heisman in Ratner

can’t believe you just assumed his gender

Sounds like you meet the criteria, though.

I disagree. He’s a loathsome individual but a justice system built on vengeance is no justice system at all.

I somehow knew even before checking Google that this guy went to Duke.

Whew, that’s good to know. I thought I’d have to to compile all of my Deadspin comment Bucks hot takes to get the job.

Stop saying, “full stop,” Adam Savage. A period ends a sentence. We get it.

Coldstone.

And guess who helped write the jokey copy for the pop-up asking you to turn off your ad blocker on this very site? That was me. Don’t turn that shit back on. We need the money to replace Marchman.

the Astros’ head physician

He’s not comparing. No one is downplaying your precious little rivalry, relax.

Why do Hot Dogs come in 10 packs while Buns come in 8?

He may have something here.

lol but did you notice that they used “your” wrong?

I’d be careful if I were Stanton. Last thing he wants is the hard hitting investigative reporters of The Player’s Tribune on his case.

You shouldn’t believe everything that you read, that’s how you wind up with a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.

Satisfying

I mean, you’re still gonna die. Happy Tuesday!