Why are you counting, you miserable dickhead? It’s already been played by your worthless ass.

So Metsy.

“I’m a fanatic and I’ve gone to maybe 6 games in my life.” - Guy With a Terrible Take

Are you going to gyms solely to set up the AV equipment?

People really spend all their time posting things on a web site without any compensation? How pathetic.

Tom, should you focus on his penis when his balls are the real story? I understand the confusion since there’s not a vas deferens between the two.

Writers here communicate similarly with Kyle Wagner.

Sandoval has found much more success at his 37 plate appearances at Golden Corral.

That’s Trump’s America for you. Greys are out first. Browns next.

Fratspin

Citi Field definitely retired Jason Bae.

This is the only answer.

This is the only answer.

Diana thanks for working late on a Friday to get this out. You are one of Deadspin’s greatest assets, please keep up the good work.

I just realized this is the same guy:

If you imagine a very undercooked potato, you’re 92% there.

Today I Didn’t Learn: who Clay Travis is.

“Some of y’all can count TO TEN?!”

The Sixers are so bad they didn’t even make the Eastern Conference Finals the year they made the Finals.

Thank goodness. We were all worried that you’d find new soccer stories to misreport.

You’re missing the obvious Kinja Turtles joke…